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desperate depressed mother of a 20 year old can you give some advice?

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Question by Angie: desperate depressed mother of a 20 year old can you give some advice?
I need some quick feedback from some parents of 20 year olds please
First off yes I may have spoiled him and I get I am responsible for that so please no lectures on that.
Since my son is going to school as well as works it is hard for him to make ends meet. So at this point I pay for his car, insurance and phone every month, now 3 weeks ago he got in major trouble and got pulled over for DUI. We talked about it and he wants to handle it alone (financially) I will let him since he needs to learn that this will have consequences and could have been a tragic ending.
Now I asked him simply to keep me posted on what is going on with that since we do not live in the same state. So for 3 weeks I have asked and waited for a call. Text or email from him, NOTHING…
Last night I had enough and suspended his phone, and today I get an email saying “ for some reason you suspended my phone, I need it for work……..”
Really “for some reason”?
I do not mind paying for things but I feel as if he hates me and that is so depressing. How do you other parents cope ? I want to do the right thing but the right thing also involves respecting me , please pass me on some advice. Is this a phase at this age? Am I over reacting?
Maybe he just does not love me and he wants me out of his life, i cannot stop crying I am so sad

Best answer:

Answer by Aimee
Hi there! So I am a 19 year old. My mom is a single mother of 5 kids. My older brother is 20 going on 21. My mom has had her fair share of trouble with my 20 year old brother, so much that we’ve had to kick him out of our lives. Even though this seemed harsh and like we were throwing him under the bus, it really wasn’t. He was giving us absolute, grief and misery. So it was only right that we’ve had to do that for the sake of our own lives and health. From my perspective, I can tell you that I truly depend on my mom. She literally has to do everything for me, since we are in a poor financial situation. She supports (now the 4 kids) feeds us, pays for bills, and gives us rides to school every single day. So yes I depend greatly on her. If she were to ever leave me (which I doubt she would) I know I’d be stuck and I’d have to seriously find my way around quickly to support myself. Since your son lives in a different state than you I’d imagine it’s easier since whoever he lives with ( a room mate or by himself) he definitely can support himself. I cannot get a job to help my mom with the rent because of some weird thing about getting my college tuition getting cut off, or child support getting cut also. My dad doesn’t pay jack $ hit to any of us. But yeah I’d suggest encouraging your son to get his own job and then reassuring you that he is doing fine. If he needs your help, ask him first if he can try and solve it himself but if not slowly help him out. Good luck! I hope this advice helped you a little lol

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Written by admin

June 10th, 2014 at 9:14 pm

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