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My mom will probably die unless I go against my dad…advice please?

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Question by kennedy: My mom will probably die unless I go against my dad…advice please?
I know this is kind of long but if you could please spare some of your time and read it it would really help. I’m 16 years old and the oldest of 4. Our parents are just starting the divorce process. My dad has given her plenty of chances in the past to agree to something that will keep her on his health insurance plan, but she won’t agree to his terms. My mom is irresponsible (she got a DUI when she totalled our car last year with me in the passenger seat) and immature most of the time, she always tries to tell me and my siblings stories about our dad when he’s not around and tries to turn us against him. Needless to say, I favor my dad over her.

She (and this is confirmed by doctors) has the beginnings of ovarian cancer. If she doesn’t get it taken care of, it will turn into ovarian cancer. She has a crappy job and no insurance so if she gets sick she won’t be able to get treatment unless she somehow stays on my dads plan. She told me to try and get him to agree to her terms, which I’m sure include more than just health insurance. I don’t want her to get custody of us or for my dad to have to pay her more than is necessary, but I don’t want her to get sick either. She says he won’t listen to her, and it’s true that he always takes my opinions into consideration, though I’m not sure that extends to something of this magnitude even if I did try and help her. Any advice or tips? Please don’t say “let her get sick”. I know she’s made mistakes, but my youngest brother is only 8 and I don’t want him growing up without a mom.

Best answer:

Answer by Candice Gaudet
You need to let them come to an agreement. This should not be your job and you should not be put in the middle. As hard as it will be- let them come to an agreement. Your Mom shouldn’t be using you to get your Father to agree with her. They are grown ups and it’s their problem. I hope things work out for you and your family!

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June 14th, 2014 at 9:14 am

Is my dui case good enough for a dismissal? Please let me know what I should do. Its my first dui offense =(?

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Question by V.sayTUrn: Is my dui case good enough for a dismissal? Please let me know what I should do. Its my first dui offense =(?
I’m 22 and I drink on special occasions. Just that one night i chose to go out alone I drank to relax and have fun. Leaving an hour gap beforeheading home, I take of and of course I got pulled over. around 12 am on the 30th, and was trying to head home from the club. five minutes of driving I get pulled over. I had about 3 drinks and a beer all in 6 hours of being there. Cop says I was serving, so I agreed to cooperate with everything. He gave me about 5 field tests which he commented about how I was doing better than most people, I stumbled because of my nerves but I;m 90 percent sure I did them all well then he decides to give me the breathalizer. After the second blow he told me “Unfortunately your level is over the legal limit and I have to place you under arrest” for a dui having a bac level of .089 . sacramento, ca downtown I st where I got pulled over, isn’t the best place to drive, due to pot wholes and of course cars parked on the side, and a busy st.which i swerved for, i was driving on a one way st the lane all the way to the right. then 5-10 minutes later we arrive to the station where he then told me to take another breathalyzer, I then blew .077, he didnt explain what was going to happen with that, but i knew for sure I was below then. The officer was really nice,didn’t tow my car and thanked me for cooperating the whole time and says he’ll put in a good comment on the document? at this point i was thinking (THEN WHY ARREST ME? ) so of course scared and nervous I just continued following direction and next thing I knew I was in the tank for 17 hours! Their system was down and couldnt finger print us? so now we’re stuck waiting because they can’t fix there system? It was quite an experience. I just need advice and help, should I get a lawyer and fight this? or will it be a waste of money. Will the public defender do much for me? Its my first offense and I’m really scared and not sure which step I should take.

Best answer:

Answer by charles
firt of all you are BARELY over the limit.Thats good.I would fight it with a public defender.The reason being YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE but your lawyer can make sure you get light punishment(assumeig this is the first
time you been arrested b4)they might even work a deal where it will disappear as long as you dont get into trouble again.EVER.ever again.
THEY Are prety ight on 1st offenders.but def. GET A LAWYER

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June 7th, 2014 at 9:11 pm

10 points how to keep our love alive advice? Guys please help!?

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Question by Mel: 10 points how to keep our love alive advice? Guys please help!?
Me and my guy broke Up two weeks ago. During our relationship he got a DUI it was a very hard situation in the beginning. When it happened he was a mess. He thought he was going to lose his job etc because of this situation. I’m sure if you or have been in this situation you would think the same. Anyway, so during our relationship, I drove him everywhere because he obviously can’t drive. I pretty much helped him a lot I’d take him to his DUI classes every Thursday, every morning I would take him to the subway so he could get to work and pick him up from the subway to take him home, if he needed to go somewhere I’d pick him up and take him. When we broke up there was some arguing I think because of frustration? We didn’t have any major problems, he told me he wants to find himself and grow. I guess I helped him so much that he didn’t realize how hard it really is. He told me that he needs to grow and better himself before we move any forward. I personally think it’s true. I feel positive about this whole thing. He even told me himself ” I cant be with you right now because I feel useless, I can’t drive and we can’t do things like we use to” I’m trying to put myself in his shoes and picture if I had a DUI, I’d be feeling like crap too! I love this guy so much, I understand where he’s coming from,I want the best for him. We had a talk and I told him That I love him very much and I’m still here for him no matter what just like I promised, if he ever needed me I’d be here. I don’t think he’s just trying to find a reason for us to break up, because we still talk and care for each other I think if he didn’t care or love me he would have gotten rid of me for good! My point is how do I keep our love alive? I don’t wanna bug him or smother him. I wanna give him his space just like he asked. I wanna be that girl who undertsands. I obviously don’t wanna call him every single day like I use to when we we’re together but I still want to show him I love him and care about him. We’ve known each other for 8years, so I really know him and I’m trying my best to understand him and give him his space. Any advice as to how I can keep us strong? What can I do during this time to show him that I still love him? Can you guys help please! :)

Best answer:

Answer by rogerâ„¢
just show him that because he cant drive it doesn’t mean hes useless.
ask him if he wants to go somewhere? like meet him at a restaurant or cinema or something.. let him pay..trust me it makes a guy feel more manly when he pays.. show him you love him.. maybe ask him if he wants to spend the day together? get him to come over to your house and walk to the park or the mall? go shopping and get some ice cream or to the beach?
dont call him everyday but maybe call him once or twice a week? ask him how he is, what hes doing, if hes done anything exciting..
for example he goes to his DUI meetings every thursday.. so phone him tuesday and ask him how he is.. then maybe phone him on thursday ask him how the meeting went? just show him you care :)
remember to tell him how you feel.. dont just bottle it up.
hope i helped and good luck to you too :)

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Written by admin

June 3rd, 2014 at 9:12 pm

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Q&A: advice please? on relationships..?

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Question by *M.M*: advice please? on relationships..?
ok so here it is.. my boyfriend and daughters (she is 2 weeks from being 3 yrs.old) father have been together for 5 years. just recently he was in jail for about 5 months.(nothing too serious just a dui) i did everything i possibly could for him during this time. after he got out everything was so wonderful. the best it could be. he was calling me or texting me all the time. which is great due to before it was always me doing the work. we went as far as talking about having another baby together and finally moving in together again. so about 5 days ago we got into a fight. he was calling me a liar and all sorts of mean things. he said he didn’t want to be with me anymore. i have sent him a text a day which he has choosen to ignore. i send them because i really love him with all my heart. i would do anything for this man. i am just so lost and confused right now. i miss him so much. it is just so hard to even try to think of letting him go when i love him this much! i mean this isn’t the first time we broke up or anything its happened before but the longest we went without talking is 6 months (his choice) please if anyone could help me with some advice or if you have been in this situation i would apprecieate the answers!!!

my daughter keeps saying i miss daddy and i want to see daddy. it just breaks my heart. i just tell her that daddy is busy with work and he loves you. i d on’t want to say anything negative about him to her or anything at all because i love him but he is only thinking of himself.

Best answer:

Answer by Jasmine_M
I really feel for your honey. With or without my advise i sincerely wish you the best of luck. In situations like this you have 3 main options. 1. Confront him ( and not over text, that’s the wost way to communicate with someone) go to his house, work, hang out spot and talk to him face to face. find out what he really wants to do, and why he is acting the way he is acting. After 5 years he owes you that explanation, so demand it. 2. Leave him alone. He expects your calls and texts, so if you just stop one day he is gonna wonder why. Leave your phone at home when you go to work if you have to. And if he doesn’t come back running then move on, you cant make someone date you or love you. If he doesn’t want this then you can still walk away with your head up high. 3. Take him to court for child support and demand that he sees his child. you can have it court ordered. Either way i hope you pick the option that is right for you. Im sure you know what it is already. I wish you the best of luck dear.

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June 3rd, 2014 at 9:10 am

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Q&A: I need some serious life advice help please?

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Question by Jazzmin: I need some serious life advice help please?
Ok so in late June I got a dui and my license got suspended. I was staying in an apartment that was pretty expensive and ended up having to break my lease to leave. I then moved into a rental house and after only two days of living there my family and I left the house because it was haunted. My son woke me.up at 11:00 pm and told me a woman was in bed with him so me and my fiance grabbed what was important and went to his aunts to stay because its a 4 bedroom home and she had space. We have been here about 2 and a half weeks. My.mom has been taking my son to school (hes 4 yrs old) and im having trouble finding a job because of the dui and i live in a small town and nobodys hiring. I recently was looking at a house that’s 475 deposit and 500 a month. Only problem is we r living off one income and the location and condition of the house is horrible. Plus i didnt want. Year lease and its a year. My parents r dead set on me.moving in there and the lady keeps calling asking if i want it. My fiance wants to move into the city so i can ride the bus and find a job easier. My son would.have to switch schools.though and im just really confused im tired of stressing over it and my.parents are really pushy and obsessed with.my.son. i feel like i have no freedom or.independance
Please leave ir advice anything will help at this point :(

Best answer:

Answer by Emily
You and your fiance need to sit down and decide what is best for you, him, and your son. Don’t worry about your parents. They do not have a say in what you decide. You can take their advice and opinouns respectfully and nicely, but you do not have to listen. This decision is between you and your fiance.

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May 30th, 2014 at 9:11 am

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Girls, please help me with some dating advice?

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Question by zillzworth: Girls, please help me with some dating advice?
Ok I’ll try to make this short…I’m a 30 year old good looking guy with a really good job and a house and car etc. I have my stuff together for the most part. Here’s the catch. I quit drinking over 3 years ago due to getting 3 DUI’s over the course of 8 years and countless other insanely poor decisions while under the influence. I haven’t been on a date in 4 years and I lost all my friends due to my lifestyle change(I have zero friends now literally). I’m also bipolar and go through some pretty bad depression at times. I know I messed up and I’ve beat myself up so much for screwing up that my confidence and identity are pretty much gone. I’m doing my best to stay positive and make my life better. At work, there’s this cute girl that says hi to me all the time and I get the feeling she might like me but I know she likes to drink. I don’t go to aa because I think most of it is bullshit. I just deal with it myself so it’s really hard to find girls that don’t drink but I’ve realized thats just reality and I don’t know what to do. I’m just wondering if anyone else has had any experience with this kind of scenario(a drinker dating a non-drinker not to mention all the other crap I said I guess). Should I even bother asking her out or should I just keep to myself. I have no one else to ask so I figured maybe someone could maybe help me with some advice :) Thanks for reading and have great day!

Best answer:

Answer by Sstarlight
Well does she drink a LOT? if it’s just occasionally then it’s probably fine. If she has issues of drinking constantly or being a bad influence I’d keep to yourself!. Try getting into some clubs that have things besides drinking(: Doing community service, you will also meet a lot of decent nice people! Even if you take a few college courses just to meet people!(: Anything that gets you out into a group of people will help(:

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May 25th, 2014 at 3:12 pm

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DUI in Maine, please read.?

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Question by charlie: DUI in Maine, please read.?
my buddy jus got a dui n i brought him to court this morning. he went in and sat in the room with everyone else waiting for their name to be called. before they started the hearings they called his name and took him aside out back, told him no one had processed his violation and to come back on dec. 9th for another hearing, over a month from now. so obviously they were somewhat aware of his case because he hadn’t talked to anyone there yet and they came n called him out. his license has already been suspended for ninety days and he had a work permit to drive there, but now the suspension is ongoing until the court date, essentially a quarter of a year without any further action from the state courts. any advice? get a lawyer? loopholes in sentencing/any further consequences?

Best answer:

Answer by gratefully_bj
get a good lawyer man, it sounds to me like somebody goofed somewhere, you may possibly beat this

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May 21st, 2014 at 3:14 pm

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Guys please help! any advice? 10 points!?

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Question by Mel: Guys please help! any advice? 10 points!?
My ex has been giving me mixed feelings. We broke up almost 3 weeks ago, we ended things in good terms. During our relationship, he got a DUI. During this time, I drove him around obviously he couldn’t drive. I would take him to the subway every morning and from the subway to his house. On Thursday’s I would take him to his DUI classes, or if he had somewhere to go, I’d take him. After our break up, we met to talk about things. Again, we left thing in good terms. I told him how much I loved him and that I would be here still no matter if we’re not together. The reason for our break up according to him, was because he needs to find himself. He said during our relationship, I did so much for him during our relationship, that he wants to grow and figure himself out. He also said he wants to be able to pick me up himself and take me places.I could imagine how it would feel to have a DUI. I’m sure it sucks. He said “I’m not ready for a girlfriend” Which is totally fine. I’ve been giving him all his space just like he asked. I really love this guy, I want the best for him. I don’t wanna push him away or anything,but it’s kinda confusing. We went out to eat and that’s when we talked about this whole thing. Two day’s later, he text me saying “hey what are you doing?” I text back saying “just got back from work” and he said “hmm worked late?” I said “ya and had something to do” I said “why whats up?” He said “no nothing just bored lol” I left things like that. Yesterday, 3 days later. He calls me. He asked how was my Dad doing? (he’s been sick) “I told him fine, thanks” he said “stay strong, hope you have a great week and I’ll text you later” I said “ok”
My question is: Is he having mixed feelings about this whole thing?
Is he affraid to tell me that he misses me?
Is he playing games?
I don’t wanna end up getting hurt. I really love this guy so much and I want him to figure this out. Please help!

Best answer:

Answer by Anabell Macedo
i think all this dui b.s got him a little stressed and confused but yea he misses you and cares about you other wise he wouldn’t give you a call and ask about your dad i can tell that he cares for yall

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May 11th, 2014 at 3:11 pm

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I got a 2nd dui this past wknd, my last one was four years ago. Will I be going to jail? Please help!?

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Question by jjcornejo2323: I got a 2nd dui this past wknd, my last one was four years ago. Will I be going to jail? Please help!?

both have been in the state of California

Best answer:

Answer by TedEx
edit your post and mention your state. Maybe someone will look it up for you.

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May 7th, 2014 at 9:11 pm

limited driving permit advice PLEASE HELP?

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Question by : limited driving permit advice PLEASE HELP?
What happens if I get pulled over and I am not on the way to work? What if I keep a pair of scrubs in my vehicle because I do private home health….and I just say that I am on my way to work?
I need suggestions and advice. And please do not lecture me about the DUI. I made a mistake & I have learned my lesson, trust me.

Thanks in advance :)

oh yeah I’m in the state of georgia. I can reinstate my license after I complete my dui class.

Best answer:

Answer by Alan
You probably will lose your driving privileges altogether for a period of time if caught. They may also extend the time of your current restriction

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April 25th, 2014 at 3:10 am

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